From a Final Chapter to a New Beginning

How it Began

I woke up and got ready for my usual 8am Saturday shift. As I started 2 hours before opening, I expected to start the day at my own pace, often completing personal tasks. No customers, (little to) no staff, and generally no managers telling me what to do. It was often a peaceful start to my shift. At the very least it allowed me time to collect myself before the craziness of the store open began. I would soon find out that this day would be different from all before it.

I got ready for work and even paid for an Uber to ensure I got there early. I took some time to walk around outside before entering the store as it was quite nice out. Upon walking in the door, I was “greeted” by two managers standing at the front. The store manager mentioned he wanted to have a word with me, but (oddly) waited for me to sign out my department keys. After following him into another room I soon realized this was not a regular talk. He was holding a brown envelope looking somewhat nervous.

After the first two sentences I knew I had already worked my final shift, and I zoned out. As the manager delivered the usually corporate “fluff” that is involved in this type of situation, I decided to think about what my next move would be. I wasn’t quite sure what it would look like, but I knew I would soon be forced to figure it out. I zoned back in as my manager asked me if I had any questions.

After being walked back to the entrance, I thought I was finally free to go… but the universe decided it needed to prank me as well. I couldn’t find my phone. I had to go back and ring the doorbell. I was “greeted” by the scowl of the other manager (the witness for the discussion) as if I was coming back to bother him. That was one face I definitely would not miss. One of them went back to check and the store manager made an awkward attempt at cracking a joke to lighten the mood as he handed me my phone. Finally, I was free.

The Journey Home

I decided to walk home from work (which according to Google Maps is approx. 10km). I expected to be angry and didn’t want to end up on the news for fighting someone on the way home. I had spent just under 10 years at that job, and it was a bittersweet journey. I met some good people and worked with many more sour and toxic individuals. All said and done, I learned a lot about myself and life at that place.

However, as I started what ended up being an almost 2 hour walk, I often found myself smiling. As much as I liked many of the people I worked with, it had become a toxic environment. A stored mired in drama, mismanagement, and had come under increasing scrutiny from district management. Poor habits and high shrink turned into management turnover and district wanted a “culture change”. Getting the boot was likely the universe’s way of telling me I needed to make a change. So much so that it started making those changes for me.

I had spent years telling myself that I should leave and do something else. I’ve also had previous employees and even customers tell me that I was too good to be stuck at a place like this. However, I’m not the greatest at receiving such compliments. My sense of job security, not being sure what I wanted to do in life, and my current steady income created a feeling of complacency. I got too comfortable to leave on my own. I often joked to myself that I was just waiting to get fired… and I guess I got what I secretly wanted. Getting fired and getting severance was like being paid to leave and pursue other things.

The Aftermath

The following months were great at first. I remember waking up the next day, not having to wake up for a Sunday open to close shift. No customers complaining about this, that, and the other. I didn’t hear my name called 70 times per hour by coworkers of all ranks. And lastly, no management drama to deal with. I spent my time on EI exploring new hobbies and habits and even went on a vacation (the destination from which some of the header images are from). But one fatal mistake started the first leg of an eventual downward spiral.

A foolish miscalculation as to the end of my EI left me unable to make intended debt repayments before payments stopped. To make it worse, it ended just before going on vacation. Luckily, I had assets to sell to maintain myself for some time, but that didn’t last forever. Add broken, fading, and some already rocky relationships and you have a cycle for disaster. I had gone from sunny vacation to a dark underground abyss in a matter of months. Although at the time of writing things are miles better, they are still short of “normalcy”.

The Path Forward

Days like today are good times for both reflection and looking forward. Yes, times were rocky, but I am still here writing this article. While they are far from optimal, there are green shoots that should at least be worthy of some hope (although I still currently hate that word). In fact, that is the reason for the very site this article is posted on. I created it as a starting point for my next journey. My new future. One where I am the (at least partial) architect of its design.

I am not writing this (or any future posts or articles) with the intention of becoming a full out “blogger”, but to create a site, one needs content. It is one of many ways to practice formatting and presenting user consumable content. And doubles as a reason to design and implement a supporting software architecture to make it all possible. Where these skills will take me is not for me to know or really decide at this point. Only time will tell.